There’s no better way to realize you’ve been taking all your privileged modern conveniences for granted until you’ve lived in places not so modern nor convenient.
For anyone who wasn’t aware, I’m one week deep into a six week pet/house sitting gig in Panama after backpacking through Central America these last six months, and OH! This is the respite I’ve been needing!
As exhilarating as it is to let your hair down and have it whipped into dreads by that sexy wild wind (it’s possible your hair hasn’t seen a comb in 2 months either), romantically blowing you from one country to the next, there’s nothing quite like putting your damn clothes on hangers for a few weeks and eating non-beige foods.
Here is a list I typed out in a fury of excitement when I first found myself alone in this sacred little castle.
30 Things I Used to Take for Granted That Now Make Me Weep With Joy
- I can cook! (Or, you know, my version of “cooking.”) There is a real kitchen with actual, present, kitchen tools in working order! Like a saucepan with the handle still attached and a knife sharp enough to cut through lettuce!
- I can keep my leftovers for the next day’s face-shoveling thanks to a working fridge, no thieves, and the existence of Tupperware and plastic wrap. Beautiful.
- I can skype and listen to music and watch movies without being held hostage by my headphones!
- I don’t have to passive aggressively fight over the limited bandwidth. ALL MINE!
- I can wash my clothes any time I want! For free! In a real washer! And not wait 30 hours or have bras mysteriously go missing!
- I can hang them up to dry and leave them unattended without my panties getting pinched.
- I can sleep with air conditioning without shelling out an extra $3 every night!
- I can sleep naked! (One CAN physically always sleep naked, but sometimes you just don’t want to worry about covering up your white ass in the middle of the night when your sheet slips away into the darkness.)
- I can sleep without a chorus of snorers competing for my hatred.
- I can sleep on a mattress that doesn’t sag in the middle like a fucking hammock.
- I can sleep! And have a normal …what do they call it again? Oh yeah, “sleep schedule.”
- I can freely change my clothes without 1) coordinating the timing of my spasms of nakedness with the swing of the dorm door, 2) having to hold a towel or sheet around myself, or 3) changing in the bathroom which is always too small and dirty and where something inevitably fucking falls onto the wet shower floor or into the gross toilet with the missing toilet seat.
- I can use a nightstand and NOT climb up and down from a bunk bed in the middle of the night because I forgot my water bottle or need a pain killer.
- I can go to bed whenever I want and not wait for the hostel bar to turn off its blaring music at 3:30am.
- I can fucking concentrate on stuff! HOLYCRAPTHISISAMAZING!
- I can flush the toilet paper!
- I can use a bathroom that HAS toilet paper! And a toilet seat! And running water! And hand soap! And is clean!
- I can leave my bathroom things in the bathroom! I can take a shower, dry off, and NOT immediately put my damp towel in my pack to move to the next place!
- I can use shampoo AND conditioner instead of that 2 in 1 shit.There’s just no way I’m carrying around TWO bottles in my pack. TWO WHOLE BOTTLES!!!!
- I can dance around, and sing, and do my lunges down the hallway, and stretch with my ass in the air, and watch movies slouching with my stomach lookin’ all preggy while shoving cereal in my mouth without people staring!
- I can carry things in a car, instead of on my back!
- I can eat green things!
- I can drink iced tea because here things exist like – a freezer, ice, and an ice tea maker!
- I don’t have to write my name on all my food! “This apple belongs to one, Ashley M. She will cut you.”
- I can drive! To places!
- I can put my clothes in drawers and on hangers for more than 2 days!
- I can wear presentable, hanged-up clothing, and not look like I spent the previous night sleeping on the ground in my clothes.
- I can NOT be pressured or misery-forced into drinking my face off by the frat-sorority team spirit of most hostels.
- I can have an actual adult routine!
- I CAN BE AN ADULT!